We make assumptions about everything. And then we assume some more. And after it’s all said and done, we will keep assuming until the day we die.
Some assumptions don’t amount too much. Some assumptions break-up relationships. Other assumptions destroy friendships. And there are those assumptions that can even derail life goals – like telling yourself you’re unworthy.
We make assumptions about everything: ourselves, our friends, family, strangers, money, status, career, health, happiness and the list goes on. We even assume based on another person’s interruption of reality. Have you heard of the telephone game?
The assumptions we make is kind of a tricky thing. Because, what we assume doesn’t feel like an assumption. It feels real. It happens almost immediately and unfortunately, we live in this society that feed into this perception of a reality we’ve created in our heads.
The thing about assumptions is it has a tendency to come around full circle. Because the truth has a way of revealing itself. And yet even in hindsight, we continue to make assumptions.
So, the question is why can’t we stop ourselves.
The absolute only reason we make assumptions — is to justify how we feel and respond. Because logic and reasoning doesn’t require you to feel anything. It just is what it is. But we can’t get past our own emotions. We tie ourselves into how our body reacts. We get a feeling, maybe in our stomach, chest or head, which brings an emotion. That emotion, which is derived from absolutely zero logic, creates an assumption. And in our reality, we live by our assumptions, because they are what they are.
But now, here’s where you begin to hurt yourself. When we assume, we don’t ask. We don’t ask questions. We close ourselves to reasoning and live by the emotions that we feel, and we need to be able to justify those emotions. That’s how we survive.
We can call it what it is— the ‘ego’, pulling at your heart strings. The other way to look at it is in the process of becoming emotionally intelligent. The only way to do it, is to start asking questions, not finding justifications. Find your way. Find out what it means to not assume but to see it from a point of view of accountability. Even if you truly believe that you are right and there is absolutely no way in hell that you could be mistaken— let this be more of an exercise in mental discipline.
The brain doesn’t know shit. It lives in darkness. It only know’s what you tell it. So if you tell it that your justifications are warranted, then all it know’s is: cry, feel sorry for yourself, blame, and you can add shame to the list. Basically, it’s in survival mode.
Assume nothing. Be curious. Have an open mind. Don’t fear change. Be kind. Start paying attention to that gut feeling instead of the voice that doesn’t help you thrive.